Heavy Rain review

Finally. One of the most anticipated games of 2010 was released this past Tuesday, February 23rd. But does it live up to the hype and expectations? Heavy Rain, not only does so but mows down all of those as well. Heavy Rain is the story of a serial killer who is going around abducting young children and murdering them by allowing them to drown. The story revolves around four different characters who are all connected through the murders. And each of them plays out in a different genre of film. No not game, film. To say Heavy Rain is a "Game" in a traditional sense, would be a wrong classification. The developer, Quantic Dream, calls it an "interactive narritive", while this isnt exactly the most sexiest of terms, it is what it is. The entire game is played out through Quick Time Events(QTE) which if you dont know are usually, as seen in Resident Evil 5, are an interactive cutscene that requires you to press a button at a precise time and depending on if you hit it or not, you either succeede or fail. However unlike other games, if you miss a button press, the scene dosent rewind back and allow you to hit it again, in order to get it right, the story keeps going. It keeps going even the event of a death of one of the characters. Quantic Dream's development team has stated that plays should only play through it once, because the character death's are perminant, in the current play through, and playing it once is like life. But you wont want to do that.
With all the different outcomes it makes you want to play it more to see what happens. A friend of mine who has the game, had a different ending, and story all together because we both did different things. I lost a character, he didnt. He chose to shoot someone that I did not, etc. It makes the game interesting. And gives something to players that very few games have, an individual story. It makes it like your own personal game, yours will be different from others, giving you and other plays a unique take on the Heavy Rain game.

As I stated, each character plays out as a different style of a movie.

Ethan Mars an architect whose son has been kid-napped, and hes giving clues on where to go, and things to do in order to save him. Ethan's story plays out a little like a horror movie. Not so much in the slasher style, but more of a psychological theme. He must crawl over glass, walk through an electrical field, kill a drug dealer, etc. It plays out somewhat like the Saw movies, only less gruesome.
Scott Shelby is a Private Detective investigating the case of the Origami Killer, the name of the serial killer. His story plays out more like a old Humphrey Bogart movie. He runs leads, tracks down suspects. Hell his car and house look like they come right out of the fifties. He is joined by a young woman named Lauren Winters, whose child was also kidnapped by the killer, and killed before the events of the game. Together they form a team, bent on finding the killer.

Norman Jayden is a FBI agent who comes to the city to help the local police with the case. His parts play out like a cop movie, something like The Departed. He dosen't get along at all with the people hes working for, and has a nasty run in with a man named Mad Jack. The only thing missing from Jayden's story is Mark Walhberg.

"Maybe, maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself"

Madison Paige is a concerned third party, so to speak, who finds Ethan hurt and helps him get better, while tracking down some leads of her own. Her story plays out like a thriller. And is easily the most intense of all the game.

The gameplay, well isnt as easy as you think for a bunch of QTEs. The button presses sometimes are so far apart from each other when you have to press more than one, making harder. But this only happens in a really intense situation, so its not like walking is going to have this style of button presses; giving you a sense of rewarding. Because when your in trouble, and those buttons come up, well it looks like you wont survive. And when you do, it gives you an overwhelming feeling of winning. And when you dont, well. You feel bad. But there are also happy moments. Especially the ending, which I wont reveal. But its as close to coming to crying that I have come to, playing a VIDEO GAME. Never, ever have I ever thought about doing that while playing a game. But this one evokes that Much emotion. It wasn't enough to make me shed a tear, but still I think you get the point. There are some downfalls however. Sometimes it seems the button presses dont match up when you press them. And it does becoming incredibly difficult in intense situations. It's not something to take lightly like any other game. It's hard, and dosent get any easier as you continue. Overall, this is a reason to own a PS3 I believe. Along with some other games. Basically:

Heavy Rain + Metal Gear Solid 4 + Uncharted 2 = why the fuck don't you own a PS3?

Heavy Rain for the Playstation 3 gets a 5/5.

Next Day Air [REVIEW]

Heavy cocaina shawty. Next Day Air is the first film in awhile to revive the coke-flick, and one of the few to take a comedic approach to it. It's no Scarface or New Jack City, and Benny Boom, a great music video director, is certainly no Brian De Palma or Mario Van Peebles; however, the lighter approach taken to the genre is refreshing, and the cast of black and hispanic actors are all up-to-standards, and in certain cases, above (why doesn't Mike Epps get more roles like this? Why doesn't Mike Epps get a genuinely good comedy script that focuses on him as the star? Such a squandering of good talent).

Next Day Air is collage film that takes cues from the Tarantino-style of film building, meshing together multiple stories about gangsters and gentlemen (or in this case, NDA workers who smoke too much hashis on their deliveries), and have them all meet up in the end for the obligatory shoot-out. Some directors have made a career out of this Tarantinosplotation; Guy Richie being the most famous, and successful of these, Joe Carnahan another. While many try to immitate Quentin to mockingly bad results, Benny Boom makes the adaption to the big screen transition much smoother than I originally expected. Although none of the film-making is breath taking, or even down-right compelling, the sense of comedic-timing is there, and most of the shoots are decent enough, especially the derivative shoot-out near the end.

As I said before, the acting is very competent, something rarely seen in these types of comedies outside the obvious notable exceptions (Friday, uh... Barbershop?). Mike Epps is fantastic in his role as Brodie, and his homeboy, Guch, played by Wood Harris. Donald Faison, of Scrubs, is humorous in the lead role, although not nearly as eye-grabbing as his fellow NDA associate, Mos Def, is in his few scene-stealing moments. Yasmin Deliz is beautiful, and provides her job as eye-candy throughout the film; she's a decent young actress who I hope to see more of (and I mean that literally). Omari Hardwick is the real star of this film though; he has a presence that most of his peers on this film lack, and his character, Shavoo, is probably my favorite in the film. He reminds me of a young Denzel, and with roles in both Kick-Ass and the A-Team in 2010, it looks like he's on for far greater things.

Not this great, though.

The score is nothing memorable, and the movie does lack that laugh-out-loud type of humor that it so desperately craves; it's a good film, which provides a few smiles, but at times it may've sufficed better with darker humor. The characters were mostly too hardened to believe they were as genuinely stupid as they were portrayed, but I guess at the same time, if this film wasn't light-hearted it's comedic approach might've gotten lost in all the drug-dealing shenanigans. Although I appreciate the approach at a cocaine-comedy, it really turned out about as well as you'd expect it to; unless you're listening to Gucci Mane, it's hard to find trapping funny. And this movie lacks all of the deadpan hilarity found in a lot of the hip-hop based on the same subject matter.

Overall, Next Day Air's definitely worth a watch if you can find it cheap, as it's a decent comedy, and even better if you're interested in the genre this film falls under. I'll be watching it again, and can see myself enjoying it more upon consecutive views; however, it's nothing groundbreaking, and it doesn't set out to be.

Trap Goin' Ham

Maybe it's because my favorite rapper's in jail (Gucci Mane), and everyone else I bumped last year is either there with him (Max B, Lil' Wayne, Lil Boosie), recovering from getting shot (Waka Flocka Flame), losing any insight of what made their music infectious (OJ Da Juiceman, Gorilla Zoe, Shawty Lo), or just, not doing anything at the moment (Drake, Kid Cudi, Jay Electronica, Kanye West), but I've been reaching out for new hip-hop artists to check out; not neccessarily new as in the unheard of sense, but emcees I haven't given a proper chance.

Maybe it's because since then, I've been listening to lyrically lyrical acts like Atmosphere, old Mobb Deep, Mos Def, Curren$y, and the like - those rappers the rest of the blogosphere wet their panties for everytime they mention a new project. I'm not a fan of most of these rappers, as the skinny-jean hipster demographic isn't the one I belong to, even if some of my favorite rappers fall under that horribly mislabeled sub-genre. Which is why duke I'm about to cover (ayo) today seems like a perfect fit for me; a street-level rapper who seems to be bewilderingly adored by journalists who listen to Animal Collective and Aesop Rock, and probably knew who Owl City were long before that fucking Fireflies song gave me the urge to kill each and every nuthuggingdenimfaggot out there.

Pill - "Trap Goin Ham" from The Educated Villains on Vimeo.

Dude's name is Pill, and he's the (former) weed-carrier of (former) OutKast weed-carrier Killer Mike. Despite the fact that he was once a weed carrier's weed carrier, and hardly even third-tier in the hip-hop echelon, Pill has recently become more relevant than his mentor Killer Mike, and even, dare I say, OutKast. At the very least, Pill gets more media attention everytime he drops a new track than Big Boi does, mainly because Pill's actually going to drop his debut album, and Sir Luscious Left Foot feels like a pipe dream that'll never come to fruition. The above track, Trap Goin' Ham, is the track that caught Pill all this love in the New York Times and the New Yorker, amongst other credible sources for what Starbucks-going, beret wearing folks should be listening to when they want their tastes to be a little more "multi-cultural."

I was not feeling this track, nor Pill, at all when I first heard it. To me, it feels like Pill is trying far too hard to be a lyrical trap rapper; a dude who wears baggy jeans, sells crack, and rolls around the hood fucking underage bitches (well, basically) with a bandana sticking out of his pocket who still appeals to hipsters because he feels kinda bad about it. A trapper the blogs could champion because he's not as pop as T.I., as materialistic as Gucci, as raw as Jeezy, or as fake as Ross; despite the fact that all four of those rappers are much more engaging, and generally, better overall artists.

Basically, he's like Waka Flocka, if you stripped Waka of his adlibs and personality, and gave him a conscious and a dictionary. Most people would derail me, and have me hung upside down from the Sears Tower if they saw me make such a comparison, but it's the truth. Both are stylistically similar, both are from Atlanta, both of them trap; shit, they almost look alike, if you don't take into account that Waka's 8' tall and Pill hasn't done a photoshoot that hasn't involved a box of Ritz crackers.

 

Gutter.

However, as evidenced here, and on the rest of his 4075: The Refill mixtape, Pill actually is a great rapper. Although he's not the most interesting of rapper, and seems to fall under the Pitchfork/okayplayer umbrella simply because he's an impoverished youth who channels the pain in his hood and virtually nothing else (as great as he is, Pill reminds me a lot of Mobb Deep on the Infamous/Hell On Earth; a gritty hustler who has no semblance on the idea of "having fun"). It also helped that Andre 3000 co-signed him (but didn't he technically co-sign DJ Unk, too?).

So, yes, my hate of hipsters trying to steal my music has once again made me ignorantly reject a talented emcee; I issue an apology to Pill. Although he's not the God-send folks make him out to be, Pill is a highly-skilled rapper who has the concept of song-making down and also has more than one-dimension to his being. That's something a lot of his peers can't say, especially the song-making part. Give him a chance.

Resident Evil 5: Lost in Nightmares Review

A few days ago I saw on the PSN that Capcom just released its first of two announced Resident Evil 5 episode DLC. I got mad at myself for trading in my copy of it to purchase something else, but today I stumbled upon something on Xbox Live. In addition to the DLC, Xbox is offering Resident Evil 5 as apart of it's "Games on Demand" line, best 30 dollars I've spent all year. So I got me a new copy of the game through Xbox, and the DLC. Along with Lost in Nightmares you get a new mode called "Mercenaries Reunion" with Barry Burton from the first RE game, and some new achievements to earn. The gameplay dosent stray away from Resident Evil 5's gameplay at all. Though there is a supposedly hidden easter egg that unlocks the Resident Evil static camera from the first game, if you dont want to play under 4 and 5's over the shoulder perspective.

The Story goes from a point in the actual RE5 game where Chris Tells Shiva about the last time him and Jill worked together. And that's where Lost in Nightmares picks up. Chris and Jill Valentine are sent to a Mansion to capture Spencer Ashford (I believe?) by the BSAA. Once inside, some old memories come back to them. You half expect a dog to come crashing through the windows down the hallway. After you spend the first few minutes inside the mansion, you go underground to the basment. And Discover all the experiments that Spencer has been conducting on people. While there you encouter 5 giant monsters carring what looks like an anchor that he swings at you. 3 of them you'll have to trap to kill in order to get a collection of items that turn into a key. And after that you meet up with the most vile man in Resident Evil.

Albert Wesker. Seriously, I LOVE that name, it's so good I wish I thought of it. Anyway, names aside. Wesker is the boss in this chapter. And pretty much plays like he did in the main game for Resident Evil 5, well the first time you mean. You really don't defeat him. Infact, when you first see him in LM, it starts the cutscene from RE5 that Chris tells Shiva about, and after the fight it finishes the same cutscene. Overall this isnt anything that's gonna add hours upon hours of gameplay to RE5, but it's a nice addition. The Lost Nightmare Chapter lasts about an hour and a half to two hours of game play, depending on how long you get lost in the basement maze. I never ever, use maps in games, but I had to for this part of the game. The cost you're gonna be spending on this DLC is about 5.00. Not to bad, but you get what you pay for. Long time Resident Evil fans will rejoice at the team up of Chris and Jill again, along with the dialouge that references the first game. New comers will enjoy it as well, if you loved RE5. And by the way, in total to Download the game, and the DLC it cost me about 36. Dollars, however know that in the next month Capcom will be releasing Resident Evil 5: Gold Edition. WIth Lost in Nightmares, and the second DLC content on the disc as well. If you don't own Resident Evil 5, and dont want to get it from Games on Demand I suggest you wait for Gold Edition. On the other hand this is a nice little addition to RE5 if you do have a copy, or want to download the game from Xbox live. Lost in Nightmares does leave a lot to be desired. But the experience isnt too bad, its so-so. Resident Evil 5: Lost in Nightmares for the Xbox 360 gets a 3/5.

I just wanna be a big rock star

Dear god, did I just title this post after a line from a Nickelback song? Yes, yes I did. God save me. Anyway. This is my second installment of Cheap Ass Video Game Reviews, featuring Rock Band, which you can pick up at Gamestop for 12.99(Used, disc only). I mentioned before I used to have a PS3 before I got my current one, and one of the games I had for it was Guitar Hero World Tour. Now after I traded in my old PS3 for my Xbox, I Kept the World Tour set because I knew I would get a PS3 again eventually, and I did not want it to go to waste. Recently I've been using the set to play Guitar Hero Metallica, but after discovering through various websites that the Guitar Hero controllers will indeed work with Rock Band I decided to pick up a copy of it myself since it was so cheap, and I already played through the song list on Metallica. And indeed the controllers work very well, so dont waste over 400 dollars buying both sets, they'll work just fine.

It took me a second to get used to the presentation of Rock Band vs. Guitar Hero because I had never played a Rock Band game before, so I was all set and ready for the little circles coming down the highway, instead of the rectangles. Really and truly theres not much to say about this game, but thats not a bad thing. If you played one music game, essentally you've played them all. They're just different songs, and for 13 bucks its really not a bad deal if you're bored with your current set list. Some things stick out like a sore thumb in this game though, like how come the bass player in my 'band' looks totally out of place, and retarded? They have a solo mechanic that seems about as tacked on as a guitar solo in a recent Metallica song. It just seems there because "hey, these songs have solos, lets make this part of the board light up!" and dosent offer much for spontanatey like many bands do live when playing, you know doing something a little different in the solos to get a rise from the crowd. The solo mechanic dosen't add much, but its not bad or anything either.

The game's career mode is about the same as Guitar Hero's. You'll start off with some easy songs, and when I mean easy I mean like God Damn, theres no inspiration from these bands easy. All of the songs you begin with are Punk songs, and not from any good Punk bands aside from the Clash. And every single one is so predictable it just leaves you waiting for the real challenge to kick in. But as with all Band games, it's quite addicting, to me at least. You just cant stop playing, because you want to play some of your favorite songs that are listed on the game. Overall this game is good, and not bad for 12.99 (Used, disc only). Rock Band for the PS3 gets a 4/5.

Excalibur's Edge III: Gimmick Pay-Per-Views

Today WWE's official website was updated with the following Pay-Per-View Schedule:

March 28: Wrestlemania 26
April 25: Extreme Rules
May 23: WWE Wild Card
June 20: Fatal Four Way
July 18: Money in the Bank
August 15: Summer Slam
September 19: Night of Champions
October 3: Hell in a Cell

Some names dropped, (Backlash, Judgement Day, The Bash) And some were shifted around (Extreme Rules, Night of Champions) but also three were added in place of the three dropped (Fatal Four Way, Money in the Bank, and Wild Card) I have no Idea what this "Wild Card" Pay-Per-View event will be, but the other two are what concerns me. Last year, 2009, WWE held five ladder matches on pay-per-view over the course of the year. Four too many I believe, then to top it off they held a pay-per-view event centered around Ladder Matches. Why? This In My Opinion shows complete lack of faith in the talent and how it will end up hurting the company in the long term. Welcome to:

Excalibur's Edge III: Gimmick Pay-Per-Views


Vince McMahon is someone many will be quick to point the finger at and go "Wtf? really?" but I don't believe he is to blame. As of this moment he is acting CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment INC. Due to Lind McMahon and her political hopes of sitting at the senate. Vince McMahon is a busy man, especially more so now that he has to take over Linda's Job as CEO. And if you don't know what a CEO of a major corporation does, especially if that corporation is owned by a McMahon, basically the job is to keep track of the companies vision, handle external forces that either help or hurt said company, and keep everyone in line, basically. If your last name's McMahon that also means you probably don't get anymore than 3 hours of sleep, if you're lucky. Because the McMahon's are some of the most involved businessmen/women in their own company, there's no "Eh, Ill take care of it later" mentality in the office if your a McMahon. Vince Russo said in an interview once that Vince was always the first person at the office, and the last to leave. Now he probably dosen't leave.

And many say, Russo and Jim Cornette among them, that Vince surrounds himself with "Yes Men", people who tell him what he wants to hear, not what he needs to hear, but when he gets the chance to breathe from all the chaos his life might be right now he'll take a moment to realize that what he's hearing isnt what he needs, he's just waiting for someone to challenge that "Yes Man" mentality. So to combat sagging Pay-Per-View buy rates, in a down turned economy, the decision seems to have been made to put on Gimmick Pay-Per-Views. Which for the short term, like any hot-shotting, will work, but in the long term will not pay off. And here's why I believe so. WWE currently charges around 40 dollars for their Pay-per-view(PPV) events. They run one a month, sometimes two. If you're the type of person that loves wrestling period with a disposable income, you're spending around 80 dollars a month on the product, 110, if you buy TNA's and I wont go into how much you're spending if you buy UFC events when they have them.

So give or take a few dollars, you're spending on average 40 dollars or more a month on a wrestling PPV. Now this Extreme Rules PPV is coming up following Wrestlemania, one of the "extreme" matches that WWE usually promotes is a Ladder Match, so that's one you can mark down. Now, if two individuals get into an intense program, its 99.9 percent possible the final match between them will end with a ladder match, which you can mark as two. Not to mention the Money in The Bank match at Wrestlemania, and another one with a PPV dedicated soley to it, thats 4. Then at the end of the year, guess what? The Ladder Match PPV. Now, do you really want to pay 40 dollars for a match you've seen four times already? It would be like if you bought a DVD, 20 dollars, but everytime you watched it you had to pay 20 dollars. No one would do that unless they just had heaps of disposable income. Which most of us don't.

So, what it will end up doing is killing the match. Whose gonna pay that much money for a match you've seen 4 or more times already? Probably involving the same people. Not only that but it in my opinion, takes the excitement out of the storyline the two men are involved in. Take the recent Hell in a Cell pay-per-view. Now. The match of John Cena/Randy Orton I believe warranted one of those matches because the two had been feuding for a while, off and on over the course of a few years. But the other one? CM Punk and Undertaker. When did they ever had a match of any significance that warranted a Hell in a Cell match, aside from the only match they had together one month prior. The hell in a cell match, I believe, has always been the trump card that no one wants to use. But when something gets so intense, where two people hate each other one of two things seems to always happen. Either A: Someone like Vince, or Eric Bischoff, got tired of the two men having matches, and getting cheated, or ruining their show with the excessive brawling that they felt there was no other choice but to make it a hell in a cell. The other thing that would happen (B:) was that one of the wrestlers involved would do something so desperate, that the other would call hell in a cell. The ultimate evil. The Atomic Bomb of wrestling matches.

It made it exciting, it made it unpredictable. But guess what? Next October you already know whats gonna happen. If John Cena and Triple H are in a storyline together guess what? It's gonna be in a Hell in a Cell match. Wheres the excitement, wheres the build? wheres the damn story? WWE thinks it's some sort of entertainment company, which in truth they are, but they're wrestling. The people outside of the McMahons need to realize that you just cant do that shit in wrestling, because well, heres an analogy. Back in the day, like in the 50s, 60s, etc. Wrestling promoters would do a midget match once a year. This was something a lot of people hadn't seen before so when they did the matches, they'd get a huge turn out. Eventually someone got the bright idea to have a bunch more than usual. And what happened? Well, it killed that match. It wasnt a special attraction anymore. And that is what will happen with these gimmick pay-per-views. Even if there is a compelling story involved, in time itll just become over saturation. But I understand too, the branding they're trying to do.

The Royal Rumble, is the January tradition. It's what gets you excited for Wrestlemania. 30 men compete for the main event title shot at Wrestlemania. They're trying to do the same for "Elimination Chamber" This is the second year they've had two championship chamber matches on the same show, in a row. They're trying to build the February PPV up as the Champions last shot to headline Wrestlemania, almost as if its a tournament style program, where your challenger wins his big match, then the champion wins theirs so now you know for sure whose gonna be in the main event. That's what they're trying to do with these other events, as well as boost sales, is so Hell in a Cell, becomes a "Fall tradition", much like Survivor Series is WWE's Thanksgiving tradition, and so on and so forth. It's a commendable idea in reality, but over using gimmick matches just kills them. I think what? TNA's ran like 50 Ultimate X matches, and now I personally could care less about the match. They run like 10 a year. And Lockdown itself is just a reason to gimmick, a gimmick match if you get me.

This is, in my opinion, just like hot-shotting a title belt. Belts in wrestling don't mean anything anymore. With gaurenteed contracts and such, the Champion won't make anymore money with or without that belt, but to make things interesting you can't have everyone win it in the span of a month. It makes the title look too easy to win, and thus kills any heat between the two guys fighting for it because, most people would think "oh well, Edge is going to win the belt tonight, cause Randy won it last month, and Cena won it the month before. " It takes the fun out of, if someone will win it or not. I believe its ok for two guys to play hot-potatoe with the belt, if and only if they're the only ones trading it, because it just shows that those two guys are on an equal level.

Got off on a tanget. but you get the idea, or you should. Running a gimmick pay-per-view, more than one anyway, for me takes the fun out of the story. And well, I dont know many people who'd be willing to pay 40 dollars for the same thing they just saw a month ago.

D-Lo - No Hoe (remix) (feat. E-40, Beeda Weeda & The Jacka) [Video]

The official song of Valentine's Day 2009. E-40 essentially kills this track. D-Lo's chorus is as much gibberish as it's ever been, especially in censored form (DLAH, DLAH, DLAH GIVE **** BOUT NAH HAH). I'm not sure why people from the Bay Area can't speak proper English (so many of them sound like Keak Da Sneak's offspring), perhaps it's something in the water? That would explain all the fucked up Californians I've met in my life. None of them remotely as cool as 40 Water, or decisively deranged as D-Lo, but they've been some weird fucks regardless.

Beeda Weeda does okay himself, pretty unremarkable. Jacka, who is apparently some type of God in the Bay Area, also compliments the song with his signature flow. I haven't listened to Jacka since his debut, The Jack Artist, dropped back in '05, and he was talking about purple-kush on that Barney track. That song slapped, regardless.

Anyway, this was on D-Lo's debut, The Tonite Show With D-Lo, which I've still yet to check out fully, and I suppose it's also being used to hype his upcoming major label (?) debut. If anything, it's got me far more excited for E-40's duel-albums dropping in March, Revenue Retrievin': Day Shift & Night Shift.

Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Theif Rewview

Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Yesterday I had the chance to catch the Lightning Thief. The latest movie adaption of the many teenage adventure novels. Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) is a regular teenager with dsylexia, ADHD, and a horrible step father, seem familar? Turns out hes really the son of Posiden, no no that movie with Kurt Russel. Poisden, the Greek God of the Seas. Turns out also, that Greek God's exist, and they sometimes mate with mortals to make DemiGods. Percy joins the ranks of Hercules, Achilles, and Perseus as a DemiGod. And he is unaware of this fact until Hades (Steve Coogan) starts to hunt him down. Apparently someone has stolen Zeus' most powerful lightning bolt and Percy is named the prime suspect, due to his connection with Posiden Zeus' and Hades' brother. With help from his new friends, Percy looks to bargan with Hades by telling him he didn't steal it so he can get his mother back from his grasp.

Overall this movie is your normal teen chosen to save the world but cant come to grips with being a savoir cause hes so young-movie. Well, almost. Early in the movie Percy gains confidence in his abilities, which is something that sets him apart from his other counterparts. He believes he really can get Hades to give him his mother back with his explanation, and dosen't pout over the fact that hes only a teenager who has to save the world. Alexandria Daddrio plays Athena's daughter, Annabeth, and love interest. Shes a tough chick who quickly joined the ranks of my personal favorite hot young actresses who rock list, along with Emma Stone, and Ellen Page. Her story is simple, she just wants to see the world. Never had she been outside the walls of Camp Half-Blood, a camp for training of the DemiGods.

The two are joined by Percy's personal protector and token black guy, Grover(Brandon T. Jackson) a satyr, for those who dont know a satyr is like Pan, the Greek God of Nature, I believe. Basically Grover has goat legs. And from time to time acts like one too, a goat I mean. Aside from being Percy's protector, Grover throws in some lines you'd expect from a black guy hanging with two white kids, imo. He serves a purpose, especially at the end, wont spoil it. But most of his lines arent far from "That's wack." and other token black guy movie phrases. I never read the novel so I couldn't tell you how well it compares. But as a stand a lone movie, its pretty good. I think they'll amp up the stuff in the sequel. But I'm sure that the fans of the novels will love seeing these characters come to life on the screen. The visual effects are great too. Nothing looks particularly bad. In fact nothing about this movie is particularly bad, but nothing blows you away either. It's right in the middle. Also Rosario Dawson cameo's as Hades' wife, and well. If she really was then you can send me to hell anytime. There are other movies that are out right now that might be more worth seeing, so if you have hesitations about it, just wait for the DVD release.

Overall it's an enjoyable movie, but dosen't seem to have the power to knock the Behemoth of Avatar down a peg. It's a 3/5.

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves Review

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

Nathan Drake returns in the blockbuster sequel to the first PS3 classic, Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. It's the game that's got everyone's buzzing about. Some say it is THE reason to get a PS3, next to Heavy Rain. For me it was Heavy Rain, and this game. I used to own a PS3 about a year ago, but decided to trade it in for a 360. Now a year later, I've gotten one again, and decided the first game I'd try out was the one that everyones talking about Uncharted 2: Among Thieves.

Now, I played a little of the first game but never got into it enough to beat it. This one how ever, does suck you in with it's cinematic presentation. Sometimes it gets too cinematic, but its not like the camera's flying everywhere like in a Michael Bay movie. The story goes that Drake and his buddies have found a treasure that someone's willing to pay them big bucks to steal, well as you'd expect one of his friends is really just using Drake to get the treasure for himself, and screws him over right at the begining, trust me this is no spoiler you see this coming a mile away, well you would if you've ever seen EVERY ADVENTURE MOVIE EVER MADE. And now Drake's on a quest to get back at his friend and the guy's boss but gets sucked into something waay deeper than what it appears to be. With a few friends returning from Drake's Fortune and new allies a long the way, Drake has the group he needs to take down this meanace.

Now I said before the begining of the plot is cliched, for an adventure story. Yet I haven't figured out if its suppose to be a serious take on the adventure movies, or a parody of them by introducing some cliches. Because the game takes itself seriously, but not too seriously that some comedy isnt thrown into the story. The action in the game, to me is about like that of any other 3rd person action game. Enemies out number you, and all you've got is one or two guns to take them out, and of course Drake's quick thinking and wit. The Shooting mechanics are great, but its not really like anything you havent seen before. Enemy AI's will try to flank you when your in a tight spot with no where to run, so most likely you'll have think outside of the box to get out of it, and boy does this game force you to do that. IF you get stuck however, there is a button to press that'll give you a hint on what to do.

After playing through part of the game, you start to wonder if it wasn't for bad luck then Drake wouldn't have any at all. Buildings fall apart around you. Helicopters pop up outta nowhere. And just when you think you're safe, your friends turn on you. But all this just adds more to the visuals. Which are STUNNING. The in game graphics are great and detailed. At one point I started to wonder why Drake's clothes got darker, then i realized I had just been swimming in water. But this game really shines with its cinematics. The characters are funny, deliver their lines just right so its not too cheesy. The actors here really did a fantastic Job. because it dosen't feel like your watching a game cinematic, it feels like a real movie. And the cut scenes. Wow. I was surprised that the graphics didnt look realistic, but then I remembered the first one didn't either. It just slipped my mind. But the cinematics look as if someone painted them with beautiful water colors, and comes very close to looking like a Pixar movie, closer than any other game available now.

This game is a reason to get a PS3. Dont let anyone talk you out of it. If you have a PS3, then why dont you have this game? Its well worth the 60 dollar price tag. The game has multiplayer, featuring your standard game type. But more than likely youll be too busy playing the story to want to tackle multiplayer, I've only played one match thus far. Either way this game is awesome. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves for the Playstation 3, gets a 5/5.

Freeway & Jake One - The Stimulus Package [REVIEW]

Well, Barack pretty much deaded our stimulus packages. However, with his mistake, comes one of the dopest underground hip-hop albums in recent memory; Freeway and Jake One's Stimulus Package. Freeway was at one point an upcoming emcee, as he was on Jay-Z's Roc-A-Fella label in its prime, and alongside his State Propery fam, Beanie Sigel, was poised to blow. He pretty much dominated Jay-Z's The Dynasty cut, 1-900 Hustler, and from there, built a steady buzz, before releasing his debut album, the almost exclusively Just Blaze-produced Philadelphia Freeway; a critically acclaimed album that didn't do nearly the numbers it was expected to.

Jake One is an underground producer who rose to his own prominence since the release of his 2008 compilation album, White Van Music, which was his first true union with Freeway. Before his foray into the underground, and critical acclaim, he was almost solely a producer for G-Unit; producing some of the group's best songs on both their group outings and solo efforts.

Both emcee and producer have very unique styles; Freeway has one of the most unique voices in rap, a high-pitched gruff voice helps elevate his flawless rhyme scheme, and distinguish himself from the other dope rappers coming out of Philly. Jake One is a producer from Seattle who is obsessed with chopped up soul samples, and comes off in ways as a mix between early Kanye West and Just Blaze; perfectly fitting for Freeway since those are the producers who made Roc-A-Fella famous during its heyday.

They normally say you can't judge a book by its cover, but in this case, the packaging for The Stimulus Package is just as dope as the music inside. Rhymesayers, the label releasing this album, tend to come up with unique ways to conceal, and market their products, to entice consumers to buy it. MF DOOM's MM...FOOD? re-release came in a tin-foil Pop Tarts inspired package, while Atmosphere's Life Give You Lemons came in a booklet; The Stimulus Package goes above and beyond with a cd case modeled after a wallet, with the CD booklet written on the back of a few custom bills with Freeway and Jake One's faces on it. Very innovative, and an incentive to purchase this.

The music inside is no joke though; the album starts off with the "Stimulus Intro," featuring Free's partner in crime, Beanie Sigel. They both deliver short verses over the dope 70s inspired Jake One beat, leading into one of my favorite joints on the album, the energeting "Throw Your Hands Up." I think most underground hip-hop tends to lack energy, and true passion vocally, but in Freeway's case, those aspects most certaily aren't missing. Freeway makes you wanna throw your hands up as he goes over the concept of this album, dropping dope bars.

The next two tracks maybe the most laid-back on the album, and kinda pale in comparison to the songs about to follow. Although Free goes in on "One Foot In," and "She Makes Me Feel Alright" is a good first single, they're completely overshadowed by two of the best tracks on the album following it. "Never Gonna Change" is Freeway's take on the Notorious B.I.G.'s classic "Warning" with an incredible beat supplied by Jake One, while One Thing with Raekwon The Chef provided two of the dopest (literally) crack-rappers to ever live with a delicious sample.

The haunting "Know What I Mean" was the street-single from the album, and is one of the other stand-out cuts. Freeway's tales of Philadelphia's hustle are greatly indepth, and he's horribly underrated as a storyteller. "The Product," where Free takes on the familiar concept of rapping from the perspective of a drug, in this case, crack, is nice, although it's been done before. It's no "Baltimore Love Thing," but again, Freeway's inspired delivery boost this track further than it would've been had another emcee done the track.

The next three tracks 5 tracks all feature guest appearances, and range in quality. The Birdman assisted "Making Moves" is far better than one would expect from a song featuring a Birdman cameo, and "Sho' Nuff" with Bun B hook up two of rap's most criminally underrated, but widely respected, emcees from the East and South and put them on a dope beat. Neither spit anything revolutionary, but they're sufficient, and that's all you could ask for. Young Chris goes in on "Microphone Killa," however his punchline-kid delivery gets him outshined by the veteran Freeway. "Freekin' The Beat" with Latoiya Williams is good, and has a nice concept (making love to music), but it's probably my least favorite cut on the album. "Money" with Omilio Sparks, more of his Roc-A-Fella alumni is dope, and Mr. Porter, also known as Kon Artist from D12, provides the great hook. I'm not sure when Kon got so great at singing, but he's the highlight of this song.

Two very similar tracks close out this album; the first solo cut in awhile, "Free People," is one of the standout joints, and shows Freeway at his most grown. The closing "Stimulus Outro" is pretty much a lesser version of "Free People," but it still delivers.

So far, with very few albums being released this year, this maybe my favorite. Freeway is in prime form, and Jake One provides some of his finest production yet. This'll probably make quite a few year end lists, and should be popular amongst the ignorant hip-hop elitists as much as it is among the commercial rap lovers who occasionally dip in the underground. A little bit of something for everyone.

And if you liked The Stimulus Package, make sure to check out Free's new tape, Freelapse, which is Freeway spitting over a variety of Eminem beats.

Old Man Logan [REVIEW]

I'm not an avid comic book reader anymore. Not that comic books have gone down in quality (there's probably more creativity, engrossing characters, and moving story archs than ever), or quantity (God knows the comic industry just as many independents as it ever has) - it's just that the medium doesn't appeal to me like it used to. That, and I can just watch the movie.

Wait, wait, hold up - I know. The comic books are almost always better (what's up, Watchmen?!), and a greater amount of talent, and time goes into the original comic books than the adaption of them to the big screen. Plus, Hollywood has a tendency to fuck with our cherished superheroes. The World's Only Universally Hated Homosexual (even by homosexuals) Joel Schumacher absolutely destroyed Batman's reputation with Batman and Robin, Superman was over once they kicked Richard Donner off directorial duties, Spider-Man 3 was a giant clusterfuck because the studios pressured Raimi to add Venom, and the most recent Wolverine movie absolutely destroyed a handful of characters, including Gambit, Emma Frost, The Blob, and motherfucking Deadpool. The video game based on the movie was better than the movie for fuck's sake; that's just an oxymoron.

However, it takes less time, and effort, to watch a comic book adaption, and that suits my lazy ass perfectly. What does that have to do with this piece? Well, it takes a special type of comic book for me to really put forth the money and reading skills to actually give it the time of day it deserves. Old Man Logan is one of those special types of comics.

Written by Mark Millar (of Wanted and Kick-Ass notoriety), with art provided by Steve McGiven, Old Man Logan gives us the very familiar "bad-ass superhero far past his prime has to put away his Hoveround scooter and kick some superpowered ass." This concept's been done before with many other heroes, including Spider-Man, and more notably, Batman in Frank Miller(no relation)'s The Dark Knight Returns. Old Man Logan goes a bit deeper than the others though; the story laid here by Millar is easily one of the best I've ever read (hey, I used to read more).

Logan is no longer the animal known as Wolverine. Instead, he's an old farmer living with his family somewhere out in the desert that once was California. Living a normal life as a lowly rancher just trying to meet ends meet at the end of the day (that's a tongue twister); hard to imagine the cigar-chomping, prostitute fucking, motorcycle tumbling, adamantium-clawed samurai putting aside his nihilistic ways, marrying some normal bitch, having kids, and milking cows in a straw hat all day, but here, it works. Until his landlords, a bunch of Hills Have Eyes looking motherfuckers, come to collect their money, and Logan doesn't have; thus, our story begins.

Did I mention that these redneck scumlords were offspring of the Incredible Hulk? Or that the Incredible Hulk OWNS California? Or that the Incredible Hulk banged his own cousin, She-Hulk, because she was the only one capable of holding his sperm, thus creating GAMMA RADIATED IMBREDS? A whole fucking colony of them? Yeah, this gets even more fucked up, believe it or not.

"Ah shit."

So, it turns out that the supervillains have taken over the world, after eliminating every superhero but Logan and, for some reason, Hawkeye (I think that's just because Millar had so many "edgy ideas" for an old blind womanizer with perfect aim - he's like Ray Charles, if you replaced the piano and smile with an ugly purple suit and arrows).

In order to get the money to pay his rent, because apparently superhero social security isn't as outstanding as it once was, Logan has to help Hawkeye with a drug run as they go across country in Spider-Man's old buggie. It's far more bad-ass than it sounds. As you'll come to find out, the supervillains control a certain part of each territory in the United States. Hulk has California, Michael Clark Duncan's future offspring fulfills his destiny of becoming Kingpin, and he runs Nevada (after defeating Magneto for the title - a funny bit of unmentioned humor giving the guy who could hit jackpots for days fucking Las Vegas), Dr. Doom got the Bible Belt (heh), Norman Osborn got - something pretty insignificant, and Red Skull got New Babylon, our renamed nation's capitol. And this is where Logan and Hawkeye must travel.

So, this is essentially a road-trip in the vein of Zombieland (check that review!), Road Warrior, and Easy Rider, only with two insane superheros, and a Spider-Man painted jeep full of contraband, as they make their way across the country for a drop-off. There's so much more to it than than though; I honestly can't say much more than that without ruining the entire story. All I can say is, Logan was essentially hired to become Hawkeye's bodyguard on this quest, but in the last fifty years he's become a pacifist after an incredibly tense, and heartbreaking moment in the story that left the X-Men dead and the beast known as Wolverine retired; a moment which lead to this disaster of a country that the villains have taken over.

Many badass battles and stories follow, which include the Red Skull adorning his dead enemies "skin," a Symbiote-possessed T-Rex, and Bruce Banner beating the shit outta Logan, before finally getting pissed off, becoming the Hulk, and fucking eating Logan. There's some seriously depraved shit in this, as one might expec from Millar, but all of it reeks of epicness.

Epic.

So, yes, Old Man Logan is fucking awesome. It has re-invents most of the characters 50 years in the future, and all the characters are at their most in-depth, and interesting. The story has great pacing, and never loses a step. The art is beautiful, and McGiven deserves some real credit for so many amazing takes on classic characters. This comic packs so much punch, and you won't want to put it down once you pick it up. Go buy it now.

There Is Something In The Sea

No, it isn't groundbreaking. Yes, the story pales in comparison to the original Bioshock's darkly disturbing masterpiece. No, it hardly adds anything that makes the gameplay any different than the last time we visited Rapture three years ago. Yes, it's still a fantastic game, and worth every penny.

I can see Bioshock 2 dissapointing a lot of people. I wouldn't recommend this to someone who didn't take the trip to Rapture last time; without knowing the backstory of this game, the story would fall rather flat. However, oddly enough, I feel that if I never played the first, and got to experience that truly unique experience, I'd probably say that Bioshock 2 is one of the best games I've ever played.

It's definitely up there. Bioshock 2 has you return to the utopia under the sea, only known as Rapture. This time around, you get to fulfill what EVERYONE fantasized about in the first one, aside from a crazy-syringe induced orgie with Fontaine (am I the only one?); you become a Big Daddy. Mr. Bubbles. The protector of all sisters that happen to be little. The motherfucker that made your controller rumble like an earthquake had just hit your front lawn. The creature that has a roar as intimidating as anything JJ Abrams has ever created. You're a goddamned Big Daddy, and not just any Mr. B; you're the very first. Welcome, Project Delta.

So instead of starting off the game with a wrench, we get a drill attached to our arm. That's certainly an improvement. We also get our first plasmid rather quickly in the game. In fact, maybe one of the things that's inferior about this title to the first is it's pacing; you're thrown into Rapture, and hardly ever do you get a moment to think about the amazing world around you. Not like in the first title, at least, where death could come from any corner. It still can in Bioshock 2, and you're not nearly as indestructible as you'd think a Big Daddy would be (you're definitely no Bouncer); but you're not some guy named Jack who just happened to have a really shitty day (or so he thinks).

The story revolves around you, Project Delta, the very first Big Daddy, and Eleanor Lamb, your Little Sister, who is also the first of her type. A lot of bad juju happened to you in the span of ten years, and you get seperated for many different reasons; the main one being Elle's mom, Sofia Lamb, who is a serious fucking bitch. Reminds me of my mom. And any woman my dad's ever brought home. And every woman I wanted to bring home. Go figure.

The graphics, engine, and gameplay is completely lifted from the first; which isn't a bad thing, seeing as the first excelled in all areas. Very little innovation in gameplay, aside from being able to both duel-wield a plasmid and a weapon, which is far more convenient than it was in the original. At the same time, with all this time, I expected at least a couple new elements to be added. Don't fix what's not already broken, and all that, but I do feel like I'm playing some really belated albeit great DLC for OG Bioshock.

Where as the first game had a host of characters you'd never forget (Andrew Ryan, Suchong, Sander Cohen, Dr. Steinman, even Atlas and Fontaine), aside from the main cast, your buddy Sinclair, and a strong black woman from the Bayou named Grace, the characters here are really lacking when compared to the first. Horrible lacking, even. Plus, there's only really 6 different types of enemies in this game; splicer, spider splicer, brute splicer, big sister, big daddy, alpha big daddy. Every boss is just a suped-up version of one of those; most of the bosses don't even bother fighting, they just send those aforementioned goons at you, and then proceed to fucking die. Sofia Lamb has NOTHING on Andrew Ryan, or even, Atlas. I might come off as sexist, but a woman in charge of Rapture? One who acts like Rodham, looks like Palin, and is only slightly higher on the IQ scale than both? No, no thank you.

The multiplayer, from what I played, is good. Nothing groundbreaking here; you won't give up Gears, L4D, Halo, GTAIV, and Modern Warfare to start building up your Bioshock skills, but it's fun, and it's a real treat for fans of the first game. Definitely a nice feature, but I hope other single-player classics that're coming out this year (I see you, Dead Rising) have more established multiplayers. 

So, I addressed mostly my complaints on this game. And I still thoroughly enjoyed it, and plan on playing multiplayer for awhile. The story is great for a video game, if you're not comparing it to the original (and you shouldn't, though it's hard not to). It's emotive, and it does allow you to get very submerged in that scuba suit (no pun intended, nhjic),  especially in the parts with Eleanor. The father/child story is very moving, and one of the better emotional moments I've seen in a video game. It really does touch your heart (pause), and I'd like to see Eleanor's story continue. The ending, unlike the first, and the final boss battle, is pretty goddamned incredible. taking on the role of the Big Daddy is also both very tense, and enjoyable. Since you're a Big Daddy, this game throws everything and the kitchen sink, stove, and refridgerator your way; you're gonna need to keep those first-aid kits on deck. the moments where you have your little sisters collect adam is one of the tensest moments of the game, and also, most strategic; i always enjoyed the time I spent protecting my little sister. Plus, the Big Daddy is just badass; much better than being some guy named Jack.

Bioshock 2 is great. Not amazing, not outstanding, not spellbinding, or anything Peter Travers would write about Avatar in Rolling Stone. Definitely my favorite game in awhile, despite its flaw. Anyone who was a fan of the first needs to play this at least once; and if you weren't, well, what the fuck is wrong with you? Regardless, Bioshock 2'll make you appreciate Bioshock that much more, and not just because Bioshock is infinitely superior.

Invest in it.

Why John Cena dosen't suck.

After my post on Randy Orton being a baby face I've decided to extend the 'feature' into a general, daily/weekly/whenever I feel like it feature on the general perception/mis-perception of wrestling, wrestlers, and general things in the world. After tackling the issue of Randy Orton being a baby face in my opinion, I decided that the next issue to take a whack at is the perception that John Cena absolutely sucks as a wrestler. So now we dive into:

Excalibur's Edge II: Why John Cena Dosen't Suck

For me it's hard to pinpoint the exact date that this phenomenon of "Cena Sucks" started. An educated guess would be around 2005 after he won the WWE title the first time. Fans, internet fans I mean, started to turn on him slightly. Then it escalated a bit when he debuted on Raw and got in the face of then internet darling, Christian. Christian was looked at as a guy who wasn't getting his fair shake in the WWE, while Cena someone who the fans percieved as an inferior talent was. Another point to look at is during the first match of the ECW One Night Stand reunion show in 2005. Lance Storm vs Chris Jericho. Two athletic wrestlers putting on a...well athletic match. During the middle of the match the ECW faithful started chanting "Fuck John Cena", among other things. Watching this at home, many casual fans would probably think "why are they saying that? Is he bad or something?" Through the rest of the year it began to blossom a bit, especially when he was paired up with uber wrestler Kurt Angle, who many believe is one of the best wrestlers in the world, ever. And truly to his credit he is. Angle has everything a promoter would want, charisma, a good look, and someone who can put on a great performance. The year continued and another Internet darling who in turn was somewhat hated by the same community for screwing over his best friend, supposedly. Edge. Edge cashed in his Money in the bank opportunity to take advantage of Cena in his most weak state.

This propelled Edge, who just beat the guy who fans were beginning to dislike more and more, and made him a babyface, somewhat. Edge was another guy, like Christian who a majority of fans percieved as someone with talent, who wasnt getting his deserved main event spot. Moving on, the event grew to a head at ECW One Night Stand 2006. Where the entire arena was against John Cena, and behind 100% Rob Van Dam, yet another man who was percieved as being held back. From then on a majority of fans dis-liked Cena. And basically it had a domino effect. One group of fans goes to a show, happen to dis-like Cena, start chanting "Cena Sucks", then others join in thinking "Well if that many people say so, then it must be true." And so it continued, until it became "Cool" to hate on John Cena. But what are the reasons that these people say he sucks?


I. His gimmick is of a white rapper, or a wanna be black man, IE: Wigger

The black man is the most imitated man in the world, a saying from Paul Mooney, "Everyone wants to be black, but nobody wants to be black" Ok. Mooney used a different word, but you get me. Some fans believe that Cena's early gimmick of a white rapper was just a really bad gimmick. He'd spout out this ingenius, risque phrases to rile up the crowd and get his desired reaction, either good or bad. Fans thought it was stupid, after all white rappers are just imitators, they can never be as accepted as guys like Tupac, Biggy, 50 Cent, Gucci Mane, etc. White guys who act black, wiggers, are just stupid and no body likes them. Well, try telling that to one of the most sucessful hip-hop acts of the last 20 years. Respected by his peers, and fans. One of the top selling artists of the decade. Eminem. A skinny white boy from Detroit. So obviously Eminem gives some, a lot even, credibility to 'wiggers'. So Cena was simply being a parody of such, and now just uses that culture in the way he dresses. This however died out really quickly when people found out he was an entertaining heel.

II. He only uses five moves.
The "Five Moves of Doom" people call Cena's reputaure. The moves are 1. Flying shoulder block, 2. Sitout hip toss or multiple clotheslines, 3. Side release spinout slam, 4. Five Knuckle Shuffle, 4. Attitude Adjustment/FU. You can even throw in the STF/STFU if you want too. This argument is so quickly dis-spelled I dont know why I even list it. Look, every babyface has a comeback routine, this one is John Cena's. Bret Hart was known for his "Five moves of doom" the vertical suplex, Russian legsweep, backbreaker, elbowdrop from the second rope, and Sharpshooter. And Bret Hart is, was, always will be, regarded as one of the best wrestlers ever. Every babyface has a come back. Even Cena's and Bret's rival Shawn Michaels who people look at today as the best worker ever, with his being. Inverted Atomic Drop, ( Flying Forearm, scoop slam, Eblow Drop, and finally his finisher the Sweet Chin Music, right before the academic pinfall. Every face has this type of routine.

III. He Just cant wrestle.
Really? Since when, really in todays time did wrestling count for anything? You want real quality wrestling, go watch your highschool or college team wrestle, thats real wrestling, and really good at that too. The enviroment today, just like every other era, in the WWE isn't about athetlics, it's about playing to the crowd. That's what Professional wrestling is. Putting two guys into a match, creating a conflict and letting the audience know whose good, and whose bad, and then using that heat to make them more involved in the match. If wrestling fans really truly cared about 'wrestling' and 'work rate' more than entertainment and having fun, then Ring of Honor would be the top drawing wrestling program on pay-per-view and television. Simple fact, John Cena dose what every wrestler does, he plays to the crowd, only he dosent do five hundred spins in a row from the top rope. (Side bar: How does anyone think that someone doing a shooting star press, suicide dive, etc after getting their ass kicked for 30 minutes makes them a good wrestler? if I had my ass handed to me for that long, I could barely move, you expect me to believe you can do that? Yeah ok.)


IV. Cena is too "Kiddy" or "PG"
This one I believe isnt his fault, its because Vince and co. decided to go another direction with their shows. Make them more family friendly. So you have to tone it down in every department

There, most of the theories on why Cena sucks, is more or less debunked. But why dosen't he suck? Well simple:

I. Psychology:
Cena's psychology is great. He can play the baby face in peril, the cocky young star, or man who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. And it shows in his matches at times, hes getting destroyed by a giant. Another time he takes his opponent too lightly, and mostly, he dosent stop, he keeps coming. He's like Joe Frazier, hell take two hits to give one. He an ultimate Ass kicker.

II. Moves
Cena's moves are a classic babyface move set. And because hes a face, well he can't be in control of his matches, that's the heels. Sure his moves arent crisp. But whoes are? CM Punk's a big guy on the net, yet hes somewhat sloppy. And so were Austin, Rock, Michaels, etc at times. No Body is perfect.

III. Charisma
John Cena has the charisma of well, John Cena. He gets the fans excited for everything, and I don't mean just on the mic. He knows how to work a crowd over in his matches. How to make the fans clap their hands to get him to comeback, Do everything he can to get them involved, that is true charisma, and the true art of pro-wrestling.

IV. Gimmick
Cena's gimmick is well, the ultimate ass-kicker. Everyone loves an ass-kicker. And it's easy to get behind someone whose always winning. Someone who wont let you down. And when hes on the microphone he tells you so too. He stops at nothing, never rests. Not for one second. And most people respect a person like that.

Any Improvements?

Can anything be improved upon? Of course theres always room for improvements, for everyone. The main thing that could be improved with Cena is the way he is booked. Everytime he faces a contemporary like Randy Orton, Edge, etc. The fans seem to get behind him easily. Because he comes across as knowing he can beat him, he becomes confident, and lets us know he means business. However when he faces someone from the late 90s, like HBK, HHH, etc. He gets all superfan. He acts like how some think we would. "OMG I'm FIGHTING HBK, HHH, UNDERTAKER, OMG!" and gets so excited. This is his downfall, because basically hes saying "Everyone in my age group sucks, you guys rock!" If he stepped to them with that same confidence, then when hes paired up with those guys, he would get a completely different reaction. The way hes booked against the veterans is really his only downfall. In closing, Ric Flair once said. "Weather you like it, or dont like it. Learn to love it, 'cause its the best thing going!"

Would you kindly...?

So, Bioshock 2 drops tomorrow. I'm as psyched for this as anyone else, if not more so; the original Bioshock remains one of, if not, my favorite game. I was a little late to play it in early '08, as I didn't have a 360 until then; however, Bioshock was the first title I grabbed upon getting it, and once I started playing, I couldn't stop.

I could go into the usual hoopla about Bioshock; how it had some of the most innovative game-play of its time, and absolutely gorgeous graphics. Which I will, and which it did. The combination of puzzles and first person shooters wasn't completely new territory, but with all the hacking mini-games, and genuine mysteries you had to solve throughout the title, it took it to a new level. I can't say I was the biggest fan of the aforementioned mini-games, as they became annoying as they grew more difficult; however, it's no surprise that future titles, such as Fallout 3, took a similar premise when it came to hacking mini-games, though Fallout's password-manipulating were significantly less annoying than the pipe-puzzles. The mysteries surrounding Rapture, a puzzle in themself, hold some of the true allure of Bioshock; for one prime example of this, the demented Sander Cohen has you dabble in some real Haunting In Connecticut shit by taking photos of the dead. However, unlike those funeral parlor photos, those poor folks you're taking pictures of were sentenced to this fate by you. Although, yeah, that's kinda a similar story in Haunting in Connecticut too.

The graphics.. still look at beautiful today as they did over two years ago. Rapture is gorgeous. Easily my favorite video game setting, as it is just as emersive as it is stunningly macabre. Although you can never travel outside of the inner city of Rapture (a fault they're correcting in the sequel), the ocean surrounding Rapture looks beautiful; the city itself is based on every 1960's living stereotype gone terribly awry. Billie Holiday's haunting voice serenades you through the radio; the aforementioned Sander Cohen is pretty much Rod Serling meets Alfred Hitchcock if both lost their minds any further, and had an unhealthy fascination with bunny rabbits. The very first boss battle is an early practioneer of plastic surgery, and the leading moments to this battle depict one of the most morose, yet stunning crucifixions you'll ever witness in any form of media; and if you know of any others, please keep them to yourself. The less we know, the better.

The story is the real bread and butter of Bioshock, though. It boasts a story on tie with some of cinema's greatest thrillers; the first two acts of the game's story driven solely by the egomaniacal Andrew Ryan, easily one of the greatest villains to ever grace his face in a video game. Andrew Ryan's monologues are stuff of legend, as seen in the youtube video that proceeded this review, and they only get better. He is the greatest atheist, chauvenistic, God-complexed, sociopathical, genius-intellect asshole ever. Aside from uncle at Christmas parties. But he's dead now, so he doesn't count.



Unforuntately, when the story switches hands in the third act, it takes a HUGE slip in quality. It's still worth finishing the game, as it continues to be great, however once that golfclub leaves your bloody hands, the absolute best part of this game is over. The final boss battle is also one of those huge dissapointments, however that's another thing they're fixing in the sequel.

So yes, even though the third act is took a dip, this game stands as wholly enjoyable; an experience anyone whose even casually into video games should try at least one. One of the most beautiful, thought-provoking, and action packed forms of entertainment ever released upon the world; not just in the realm of video games. Bioshock will always stand as one of gaming's greatest achievements, and stands triumphant amongst all the cookie-cutter shooters that're released seemingly monthly. Hopefully the sequel can due this game's legacy everything it deserves.

Now, would you kindly go and give this game a try if you haven't already?

Why Randy Orton is a baby face.

Randy Orton is suppose to be a ruthless, cold, calculating, killing machine type of heel. However he is almost always cheered depending on the city, state, and crowd he is in front of. The reason for this, especially in the first few months of 2009 is simple, he was booked as a baby face. After winning the Royal Rumble last year Orton was set to main event Wrestlemania 25 with one of the "three" (Two) champions in WWE. Speculation arose on who he would challenge at the biggest wrestling event of the year, with most fingers pointing at Triple H, which turned out to be the correct guess. Orton started a tirade against the McMahon family, kick Shane, Vince, and ruthlessly DDT'ing Stephanie McMahon in front of her husband. It became clear, Orton didn't care who you were, or where you stood in the company, he was going to kill you. Obviously this would give sympathy to his victims and bring a big pop for the baby face champion to defend the honor of those being destroyed at the hands of this monster. Or would it?

The McMahon Family had been portrayed on television since 1997 as mean spirited, cut throat, do-what-ever-it-takes to stay on top promoters. You know, that dick boss you just hate but stay with the job because it pays well, you like your co-workers, whatever you tell yourself to stop from leaving the company and find work else where. On average 4 million people tune into WWE's Monday Night Raw every week. This number fluxuates over a ten plus year period, but still for over ten years this family has been portrayed as such, with sprinkles of kindness here and there to change it up a bit. But still on the whole, most people believe the McMahons are your classic evil Wrestling promoters who care nothing for their talent and are only interested in making money. So when about 4 million or so people see this every week for ten plus years, and I'd be willing to bet at least half of them hate their boss, me personally I like my current boss, but cant say that I love my old ones. So, to make Randy a cold ruthless killer what do they do?

He totally kills the McMahons, the evil wrestling family who has screwed almost everyone on their roster, and only helped those who are willing to help them. And as with wrestling, we as fans love to live vicariously through the wrestlers. Over eight hours of wrestling are broadcasted in the US every week, more when theirs a pay-per-view. So for about two to eight hours a week we live through these wrestlers, superstars, Gods to some even. Wishing we had the guts to do some of this stuff they do. Sometimes I just want to kick my boss in the head despite the fact that I like him. But that my friends leads to something called Assault. So watching Randy Orton do it to his boss should what? Make me hate him? No! Of course not I love Randy Orton. Especially now. He kicked the head off his boss, who dosent really want to do that?

And Triple H comes to their defence. Protecting the honor of his family, his own wife. Damn it Randy! You just beat the crap out of my evil wrestling family, and I'm going to get you back! Triple H clearly comes off as the heel, mostly because almost anyone who was aligned with the McMahons was a heel. Rock, Austin, Mankind, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, etc. So whose going to get booed? The Guy who kicks the crap out of the evil wrestling promoter, thus living your fantasy of beating up your boss? Or the brown noser, kiss ass, who the boss loves? Yeah that's a classic heel vs face routine, but this time the roles were reversed. Orton was the Heel, Triple H as the babyface. Which seriously made no sense to me at all.

Then to take it to another level. One Monday Night, Orton is at "Home" with his 'wife' talking to the fans via satellite. Then what happens? A ruthless maniac comes barging through the door with a slegehammer in tow trying to not only scare Orton's wife, and I guess his 'staff'? But to hurt Orton even more, get some retribution. Who the hell is suppose to cheer for a crazy man going around a neighbor hood with a weapon, stalking someone? It makes no sense to cheer for such a person unless your watching this show in an asylum. Now it is a cool scene. Which is why it probably got the pop it did, but still. (Side Bar: Wouldn't have been halarious, if Triple H said "Here's Hunter!" when he busted through the door?) I think my point is getting across.

Then comes the match. These two want to destroy each other. No bones about it. They hate each other. You can take out all this context of whose the good guy, whose the bad guy, they want to kill each other. And what happens? They wrestle a complete regular match with a heel finish no less from the 'babyface'. Makes no sense to me. Now, firstly and well, I'll never be in a position to make these decisions, I would've never put that match as the main event, simply because after the Undertaker vs HBK match, that live crowd, and the home crowd probably, were just worn out. After that amazing match, nothing was going to compare. Either way, the two guys who wanted to kill each other but didnt do anything to prove that they did. Much like the Jeff Hardy vs Matt Hardy match earlier that night, (Sidebar 2: Want to see two brothers go at it because ones jealous of the other? Watch Bret Hart vs Owen Hart from Wrestlemania X).


So why is Randy Orton a big babyface? Another thing of note is that he is booked as an "Attitude Era" babyface. He's done some of the same things that guys like Austin and The Rock would do, rebelling against Vince. And WWE fans have been conditioned so hard that this means this guy is a babyface and that this other type of guy is a heel. That is why I believe Randy Orton is one of the biggest babyfaces today. Not a fact, just an opinion.