Excalibur's Edge III: Gimmick Pay-Per-Views

Today WWE's official website was updated with the following Pay-Per-View Schedule:

March 28: Wrestlemania 26
April 25: Extreme Rules
May 23: WWE Wild Card
June 20: Fatal Four Way
July 18: Money in the Bank
August 15: Summer Slam
September 19: Night of Champions
October 3: Hell in a Cell

Some names dropped, (Backlash, Judgement Day, The Bash) And some were shifted around (Extreme Rules, Night of Champions) but also three were added in place of the three dropped (Fatal Four Way, Money in the Bank, and Wild Card) I have no Idea what this "Wild Card" Pay-Per-View event will be, but the other two are what concerns me. Last year, 2009, WWE held five ladder matches on pay-per-view over the course of the year. Four too many I believe, then to top it off they held a pay-per-view event centered around Ladder Matches. Why? This In My Opinion shows complete lack of faith in the talent and how it will end up hurting the company in the long term. Welcome to:

Excalibur's Edge III: Gimmick Pay-Per-Views


Vince McMahon is someone many will be quick to point the finger at and go "Wtf? really?" but I don't believe he is to blame. As of this moment he is acting CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment INC. Due to Lind McMahon and her political hopes of sitting at the senate. Vince McMahon is a busy man, especially more so now that he has to take over Linda's Job as CEO. And if you don't know what a CEO of a major corporation does, especially if that corporation is owned by a McMahon, basically the job is to keep track of the companies vision, handle external forces that either help or hurt said company, and keep everyone in line, basically. If your last name's McMahon that also means you probably don't get anymore than 3 hours of sleep, if you're lucky. Because the McMahon's are some of the most involved businessmen/women in their own company, there's no "Eh, Ill take care of it later" mentality in the office if your a McMahon. Vince Russo said in an interview once that Vince was always the first person at the office, and the last to leave. Now he probably dosen't leave.

And many say, Russo and Jim Cornette among them, that Vince surrounds himself with "Yes Men", people who tell him what he wants to hear, not what he needs to hear, but when he gets the chance to breathe from all the chaos his life might be right now he'll take a moment to realize that what he's hearing isnt what he needs, he's just waiting for someone to challenge that "Yes Man" mentality. So to combat sagging Pay-Per-View buy rates, in a down turned economy, the decision seems to have been made to put on Gimmick Pay-Per-Views. Which for the short term, like any hot-shotting, will work, but in the long term will not pay off. And here's why I believe so. WWE currently charges around 40 dollars for their Pay-per-view(PPV) events. They run one a month, sometimes two. If you're the type of person that loves wrestling period with a disposable income, you're spending around 80 dollars a month on the product, 110, if you buy TNA's and I wont go into how much you're spending if you buy UFC events when they have them.

So give or take a few dollars, you're spending on average 40 dollars or more a month on a wrestling PPV. Now this Extreme Rules PPV is coming up following Wrestlemania, one of the "extreme" matches that WWE usually promotes is a Ladder Match, so that's one you can mark down. Now, if two individuals get into an intense program, its 99.9 percent possible the final match between them will end with a ladder match, which you can mark as two. Not to mention the Money in The Bank match at Wrestlemania, and another one with a PPV dedicated soley to it, thats 4. Then at the end of the year, guess what? The Ladder Match PPV. Now, do you really want to pay 40 dollars for a match you've seen four times already? It would be like if you bought a DVD, 20 dollars, but everytime you watched it you had to pay 20 dollars. No one would do that unless they just had heaps of disposable income. Which most of us don't.

So, what it will end up doing is killing the match. Whose gonna pay that much money for a match you've seen 4 or more times already? Probably involving the same people. Not only that but it in my opinion, takes the excitement out of the storyline the two men are involved in. Take the recent Hell in a Cell pay-per-view. Now. The match of John Cena/Randy Orton I believe warranted one of those matches because the two had been feuding for a while, off and on over the course of a few years. But the other one? CM Punk and Undertaker. When did they ever had a match of any significance that warranted a Hell in a Cell match, aside from the only match they had together one month prior. The hell in a cell match, I believe, has always been the trump card that no one wants to use. But when something gets so intense, where two people hate each other one of two things seems to always happen. Either A: Someone like Vince, or Eric Bischoff, got tired of the two men having matches, and getting cheated, or ruining their show with the excessive brawling that they felt there was no other choice but to make it a hell in a cell. The other thing that would happen (B:) was that one of the wrestlers involved would do something so desperate, that the other would call hell in a cell. The ultimate evil. The Atomic Bomb of wrestling matches.

It made it exciting, it made it unpredictable. But guess what? Next October you already know whats gonna happen. If John Cena and Triple H are in a storyline together guess what? It's gonna be in a Hell in a Cell match. Wheres the excitement, wheres the build? wheres the damn story? WWE thinks it's some sort of entertainment company, which in truth they are, but they're wrestling. The people outside of the McMahons need to realize that you just cant do that shit in wrestling, because well, heres an analogy. Back in the day, like in the 50s, 60s, etc. Wrestling promoters would do a midget match once a year. This was something a lot of people hadn't seen before so when they did the matches, they'd get a huge turn out. Eventually someone got the bright idea to have a bunch more than usual. And what happened? Well, it killed that match. It wasnt a special attraction anymore. And that is what will happen with these gimmick pay-per-views. Even if there is a compelling story involved, in time itll just become over saturation. But I understand too, the branding they're trying to do.

The Royal Rumble, is the January tradition. It's what gets you excited for Wrestlemania. 30 men compete for the main event title shot at Wrestlemania. They're trying to do the same for "Elimination Chamber" This is the second year they've had two championship chamber matches on the same show, in a row. They're trying to build the February PPV up as the Champions last shot to headline Wrestlemania, almost as if its a tournament style program, where your challenger wins his big match, then the champion wins theirs so now you know for sure whose gonna be in the main event. That's what they're trying to do with these other events, as well as boost sales, is so Hell in a Cell, becomes a "Fall tradition", much like Survivor Series is WWE's Thanksgiving tradition, and so on and so forth. It's a commendable idea in reality, but over using gimmick matches just kills them. I think what? TNA's ran like 50 Ultimate X matches, and now I personally could care less about the match. They run like 10 a year. And Lockdown itself is just a reason to gimmick, a gimmick match if you get me.

This is, in my opinion, just like hot-shotting a title belt. Belts in wrestling don't mean anything anymore. With gaurenteed contracts and such, the Champion won't make anymore money with or without that belt, but to make things interesting you can't have everyone win it in the span of a month. It makes the title look too easy to win, and thus kills any heat between the two guys fighting for it because, most people would think "oh well, Edge is going to win the belt tonight, cause Randy won it last month, and Cena won it the month before. " It takes the fun out of, if someone will win it or not. I believe its ok for two guys to play hot-potatoe with the belt, if and only if they're the only ones trading it, because it just shows that those two guys are on an equal level.

Got off on a tanget. but you get the idea, or you should. Running a gimmick pay-per-view, more than one anyway, for me takes the fun out of the story. And well, I dont know many people who'd be willing to pay 40 dollars for the same thing they just saw a month ago.

Why John Cena dosen't suck.

After my post on Randy Orton being a baby face I've decided to extend the 'feature' into a general, daily/weekly/whenever I feel like it feature on the general perception/mis-perception of wrestling, wrestlers, and general things in the world. After tackling the issue of Randy Orton being a baby face in my opinion, I decided that the next issue to take a whack at is the perception that John Cena absolutely sucks as a wrestler. So now we dive into:

Excalibur's Edge II: Why John Cena Dosen't Suck

For me it's hard to pinpoint the exact date that this phenomenon of "Cena Sucks" started. An educated guess would be around 2005 after he won the WWE title the first time. Fans, internet fans I mean, started to turn on him slightly. Then it escalated a bit when he debuted on Raw and got in the face of then internet darling, Christian. Christian was looked at as a guy who wasn't getting his fair shake in the WWE, while Cena someone who the fans percieved as an inferior talent was. Another point to look at is during the first match of the ECW One Night Stand reunion show in 2005. Lance Storm vs Chris Jericho. Two athletic wrestlers putting on a...well athletic match. During the middle of the match the ECW faithful started chanting "Fuck John Cena", among other things. Watching this at home, many casual fans would probably think "why are they saying that? Is he bad or something?" Through the rest of the year it began to blossom a bit, especially when he was paired up with uber wrestler Kurt Angle, who many believe is one of the best wrestlers in the world, ever. And truly to his credit he is. Angle has everything a promoter would want, charisma, a good look, and someone who can put on a great performance. The year continued and another Internet darling who in turn was somewhat hated by the same community for screwing over his best friend, supposedly. Edge. Edge cashed in his Money in the bank opportunity to take advantage of Cena in his most weak state.

This propelled Edge, who just beat the guy who fans were beginning to dislike more and more, and made him a babyface, somewhat. Edge was another guy, like Christian who a majority of fans percieved as someone with talent, who wasnt getting his deserved main event spot. Moving on, the event grew to a head at ECW One Night Stand 2006. Where the entire arena was against John Cena, and behind 100% Rob Van Dam, yet another man who was percieved as being held back. From then on a majority of fans dis-liked Cena. And basically it had a domino effect. One group of fans goes to a show, happen to dis-like Cena, start chanting "Cena Sucks", then others join in thinking "Well if that many people say so, then it must be true." And so it continued, until it became "Cool" to hate on John Cena. But what are the reasons that these people say he sucks?


I. His gimmick is of a white rapper, or a wanna be black man, IE: Wigger

The black man is the most imitated man in the world, a saying from Paul Mooney, "Everyone wants to be black, but nobody wants to be black" Ok. Mooney used a different word, but you get me. Some fans believe that Cena's early gimmick of a white rapper was just a really bad gimmick. He'd spout out this ingenius, risque phrases to rile up the crowd and get his desired reaction, either good or bad. Fans thought it was stupid, after all white rappers are just imitators, they can never be as accepted as guys like Tupac, Biggy, 50 Cent, Gucci Mane, etc. White guys who act black, wiggers, are just stupid and no body likes them. Well, try telling that to one of the most sucessful hip-hop acts of the last 20 years. Respected by his peers, and fans. One of the top selling artists of the decade. Eminem. A skinny white boy from Detroit. So obviously Eminem gives some, a lot even, credibility to 'wiggers'. So Cena was simply being a parody of such, and now just uses that culture in the way he dresses. This however died out really quickly when people found out he was an entertaining heel.

II. He only uses five moves.
The "Five Moves of Doom" people call Cena's reputaure. The moves are 1. Flying shoulder block, 2. Sitout hip toss or multiple clotheslines, 3. Side release spinout slam, 4. Five Knuckle Shuffle, 4. Attitude Adjustment/FU. You can even throw in the STF/STFU if you want too. This argument is so quickly dis-spelled I dont know why I even list it. Look, every babyface has a comeback routine, this one is John Cena's. Bret Hart was known for his "Five moves of doom" the vertical suplex, Russian legsweep, backbreaker, elbowdrop from the second rope, and Sharpshooter. And Bret Hart is, was, always will be, regarded as one of the best wrestlers ever. Every babyface has a come back. Even Cena's and Bret's rival Shawn Michaels who people look at today as the best worker ever, with his being. Inverted Atomic Drop, ( Flying Forearm, scoop slam, Eblow Drop, and finally his finisher the Sweet Chin Music, right before the academic pinfall. Every face has this type of routine.

III. He Just cant wrestle.
Really? Since when, really in todays time did wrestling count for anything? You want real quality wrestling, go watch your highschool or college team wrestle, thats real wrestling, and really good at that too. The enviroment today, just like every other era, in the WWE isn't about athetlics, it's about playing to the crowd. That's what Professional wrestling is. Putting two guys into a match, creating a conflict and letting the audience know whose good, and whose bad, and then using that heat to make them more involved in the match. If wrestling fans really truly cared about 'wrestling' and 'work rate' more than entertainment and having fun, then Ring of Honor would be the top drawing wrestling program on pay-per-view and television. Simple fact, John Cena dose what every wrestler does, he plays to the crowd, only he dosent do five hundred spins in a row from the top rope. (Side bar: How does anyone think that someone doing a shooting star press, suicide dive, etc after getting their ass kicked for 30 minutes makes them a good wrestler? if I had my ass handed to me for that long, I could barely move, you expect me to believe you can do that? Yeah ok.)


IV. Cena is too "Kiddy" or "PG"
This one I believe isnt his fault, its because Vince and co. decided to go another direction with their shows. Make them more family friendly. So you have to tone it down in every department

There, most of the theories on why Cena sucks, is more or less debunked. But why dosen't he suck? Well simple:

I. Psychology:
Cena's psychology is great. He can play the baby face in peril, the cocky young star, or man who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. And it shows in his matches at times, hes getting destroyed by a giant. Another time he takes his opponent too lightly, and mostly, he dosent stop, he keeps coming. He's like Joe Frazier, hell take two hits to give one. He an ultimate Ass kicker.

II. Moves
Cena's moves are a classic babyface move set. And because hes a face, well he can't be in control of his matches, that's the heels. Sure his moves arent crisp. But whoes are? CM Punk's a big guy on the net, yet hes somewhat sloppy. And so were Austin, Rock, Michaels, etc at times. No Body is perfect.

III. Charisma
John Cena has the charisma of well, John Cena. He gets the fans excited for everything, and I don't mean just on the mic. He knows how to work a crowd over in his matches. How to make the fans clap their hands to get him to comeback, Do everything he can to get them involved, that is true charisma, and the true art of pro-wrestling.

IV. Gimmick
Cena's gimmick is well, the ultimate ass-kicker. Everyone loves an ass-kicker. And it's easy to get behind someone whose always winning. Someone who wont let you down. And when hes on the microphone he tells you so too. He stops at nothing, never rests. Not for one second. And most people respect a person like that.

Any Improvements?

Can anything be improved upon? Of course theres always room for improvements, for everyone. The main thing that could be improved with Cena is the way he is booked. Everytime he faces a contemporary like Randy Orton, Edge, etc. The fans seem to get behind him easily. Because he comes across as knowing he can beat him, he becomes confident, and lets us know he means business. However when he faces someone from the late 90s, like HBK, HHH, etc. He gets all superfan. He acts like how some think we would. "OMG I'm FIGHTING HBK, HHH, UNDERTAKER, OMG!" and gets so excited. This is his downfall, because basically hes saying "Everyone in my age group sucks, you guys rock!" If he stepped to them with that same confidence, then when hes paired up with those guys, he would get a completely different reaction. The way hes booked against the veterans is really his only downfall. In closing, Ric Flair once said. "Weather you like it, or dont like it. Learn to love it, 'cause its the best thing going!"

Why Randy Orton is a baby face.

Randy Orton is suppose to be a ruthless, cold, calculating, killing machine type of heel. However he is almost always cheered depending on the city, state, and crowd he is in front of. The reason for this, especially in the first few months of 2009 is simple, he was booked as a baby face. After winning the Royal Rumble last year Orton was set to main event Wrestlemania 25 with one of the "three" (Two) champions in WWE. Speculation arose on who he would challenge at the biggest wrestling event of the year, with most fingers pointing at Triple H, which turned out to be the correct guess. Orton started a tirade against the McMahon family, kick Shane, Vince, and ruthlessly DDT'ing Stephanie McMahon in front of her husband. It became clear, Orton didn't care who you were, or where you stood in the company, he was going to kill you. Obviously this would give sympathy to his victims and bring a big pop for the baby face champion to defend the honor of those being destroyed at the hands of this monster. Or would it?

The McMahon Family had been portrayed on television since 1997 as mean spirited, cut throat, do-what-ever-it-takes to stay on top promoters. You know, that dick boss you just hate but stay with the job because it pays well, you like your co-workers, whatever you tell yourself to stop from leaving the company and find work else where. On average 4 million people tune into WWE's Monday Night Raw every week. This number fluxuates over a ten plus year period, but still for over ten years this family has been portrayed as such, with sprinkles of kindness here and there to change it up a bit. But still on the whole, most people believe the McMahons are your classic evil Wrestling promoters who care nothing for their talent and are only interested in making money. So when about 4 million or so people see this every week for ten plus years, and I'd be willing to bet at least half of them hate their boss, me personally I like my current boss, but cant say that I love my old ones. So, to make Randy a cold ruthless killer what do they do?

He totally kills the McMahons, the evil wrestling family who has screwed almost everyone on their roster, and only helped those who are willing to help them. And as with wrestling, we as fans love to live vicariously through the wrestlers. Over eight hours of wrestling are broadcasted in the US every week, more when theirs a pay-per-view. So for about two to eight hours a week we live through these wrestlers, superstars, Gods to some even. Wishing we had the guts to do some of this stuff they do. Sometimes I just want to kick my boss in the head despite the fact that I like him. But that my friends leads to something called Assault. So watching Randy Orton do it to his boss should what? Make me hate him? No! Of course not I love Randy Orton. Especially now. He kicked the head off his boss, who dosent really want to do that?

And Triple H comes to their defence. Protecting the honor of his family, his own wife. Damn it Randy! You just beat the crap out of my evil wrestling family, and I'm going to get you back! Triple H clearly comes off as the heel, mostly because almost anyone who was aligned with the McMahons was a heel. Rock, Austin, Mankind, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, etc. So whose going to get booed? The Guy who kicks the crap out of the evil wrestling promoter, thus living your fantasy of beating up your boss? Or the brown noser, kiss ass, who the boss loves? Yeah that's a classic heel vs face routine, but this time the roles were reversed. Orton was the Heel, Triple H as the babyface. Which seriously made no sense to me at all.

Then to take it to another level. One Monday Night, Orton is at "Home" with his 'wife' talking to the fans via satellite. Then what happens? A ruthless maniac comes barging through the door with a slegehammer in tow trying to not only scare Orton's wife, and I guess his 'staff'? But to hurt Orton even more, get some retribution. Who the hell is suppose to cheer for a crazy man going around a neighbor hood with a weapon, stalking someone? It makes no sense to cheer for such a person unless your watching this show in an asylum. Now it is a cool scene. Which is why it probably got the pop it did, but still. (Side Bar: Wouldn't have been halarious, if Triple H said "Here's Hunter!" when he busted through the door?) I think my point is getting across.

Then comes the match. These two want to destroy each other. No bones about it. They hate each other. You can take out all this context of whose the good guy, whose the bad guy, they want to kill each other. And what happens? They wrestle a complete regular match with a heel finish no less from the 'babyface'. Makes no sense to me. Now, firstly and well, I'll never be in a position to make these decisions, I would've never put that match as the main event, simply because after the Undertaker vs HBK match, that live crowd, and the home crowd probably, were just worn out. After that amazing match, nothing was going to compare. Either way, the two guys who wanted to kill each other but didnt do anything to prove that they did. Much like the Jeff Hardy vs Matt Hardy match earlier that night, (Sidebar 2: Want to see two brothers go at it because ones jealous of the other? Watch Bret Hart vs Owen Hart from Wrestlemania X).


So why is Randy Orton a big babyface? Another thing of note is that he is booked as an "Attitude Era" babyface. He's done some of the same things that guys like Austin and The Rock would do, rebelling against Vince. And WWE fans have been conditioned so hard that this means this guy is a babyface and that this other type of guy is a heel. That is why I believe Randy Orton is one of the biggest babyfaces today. Not a fact, just an opinion.